Sometimes....I hear voices in my head...at least I think I do. They tell me how worthless I am, how fat I am, how much I disappoint everyone around me.
They strike at completely random moments sometimes, like halfway through a class, or a conversation.
but most if the time, it happens at night, when it's quiet....that's why I always have to have noise on in the background, because, maybe I can drown it out, convince myself I’m as damn near perfect as I’m going to get, and I don’t have to try anymore....but I never really can.
When I was little, I used to dream about a woman.
She was absolutely stunning. She had straight long rich brown hair, pale white skin, rose cheeks and stunning brown eyes.
She was small, with a shape that was a mix between an hour-glass and a child’s...somehow.
She always wore a long flowing, green/blue dress, perfectly fitted until the waist, where is splayed out magnificently.
This was coupled with sparkling silver bangles, diamond earrings, and a stunning necklace that made it look like there was a single crystal simply floating between her collarbones.
She always talked to me in my dreams, I could never move, I was mesmerised by her.
I can never remember exactly what she told me, but I remember I always woke up crying.
Is it even possible for one to wake up crying?...I don't know.... I was reminded of her today, simply randomly, I was speaking in a debate and she just popped into my head.
She had me completely derailed after that :P
I’m guessing I just have to get this stuff off my chest, because other than that I have no idea why I would be writing this....
Its 2am I’m tired and delirious...I’m not entirely sure I can entirely grasp what's going on....
So now everyone thinks I’m completely freaking crazy, hope all is well
Xoxo
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