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Sunday, 17 April 2011

I Hate This

just thought you all needed another picture of my absolutely stunningly gorgeous kitty!

well.... today I've come to the conclusion that i must just be completely defective.
 seriously why cant a single surgery go the right for me?!
i seriously just want to give up.
 I'm broken, just leave me like this.
just admit failure, tell me you cant help me anymore, and leave me out in the cold like almost everyone.

 its absolutely stupid how upset i am about this, but i just want everything to stop.
i want to stop feeling like a complete failure.
i want these ugly scars, and other ugly features to just go away.
 i don't understand how you can sit there and tell me over and over again that we can try something else and then dump me on a psychologist when you decide you don't want to deal with this crazy bitch.
i hate you for giving me hope.
i hate you for making me think that some of the physical pain will go away.
 i hate you for bringing all my other problems to every one's attention.

 i hate everyone else for pretending they understand.
 i hate them for always making me feel guilty.
 i hate them for thinking that i cant take care of myself.

and most importantly i hate myself for feeling like this, and for so many other things

anyway, rant over.

take care all
xoxo

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