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Saturday, 23 April 2011

Goodbye Control

well, after my assessment my mother wants me to take the rest of the year off school for therapy.
 which i DO NOT need.
 I'm sick of how what the stupid psych lady has read into what I've said is right on track to ruin my life.
my trip to Malaysia is also on the line.
 so even if i can stay in school i don't know how I'm going to explain to everyone why I'm suddenly not going to a trip i've been excited about, pretty much since year 8.
 I'm pretty sure even if i didn't need help before, i will need it by the time my appointment comes around.
this is unbelievably stressful!

its getting to the point now i cant concentrate for long enough even to do my homework, so school is going to be hell when we go back on wednesday.
 i think I'm going o flip out if my indonesian teacher embarrasses me again.
 sometimes i get so stressed and anxious about everything i cant breathe. 
 i just keep thinking: right now my whole future is up in the air, and there is nothing i can do about it, its not up to me anymore.
 its my life, and its not even up to me.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
it feels like everything is falling apart.
where do i go now?

another joke for you geeks out there:

Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, "I think not." And he vanished.


take care
xoxo

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