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Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Re-diagnosis.. :\

went to clinic on Thursday...i feel like someone has taken a hammer to my life.
i was diagnosed with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) which has "friends" Generalised Anxiety Disorder and depression.
 in other words, I'm totally screwed up.
 I'm so scared.
 i took today off because i just couldn't handle going to school.
 that is not like me at all.

i honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore...i freak out even thinking about going back to school because mum told my teachers today.
 I've failed.
all I've wanted my whole life is to be normal.

to be perfect.

 to be worthy of love.

all my effort will count for nothing now.

slept all day today...i was supposed to study.
shows how useless i am i guess. i just want everything to stop. 
i don't want to have any responsibility anymore, i don't want any pressure.
i just want to sort out who i am, and how to fix this...but i don't want to turn 18 -before- i finish year 12.
 i really cant do anything right.

take care
xoxo