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Wednesday, 18 May 2011

I'm Just That Talented at Screwing Myself Over

why do i mess everything up so badly?
 i have my midyear exam (the one that actually counts towards my final score) just around the corner but before then i have the stupid freaking clinic appointment.
 i wont be able to handle it if they don't let me go home.
 I'll probably just start throwing stuff.

E was thinking about possible misunderstandings of suicide....which does scare me muchly.
However, these are my thoughts on the subject:
one doesn't want to live anymore, because one doesn't see the way out of whatever cycle or pressure cooker one may find one's self in.
one decides that the pain they are going through, outweighs any good that might be n the way, or already be there.
one believes they are truly not important enough fr people to miss them.....or thinks that this will fly in the face of the people that have hurt them.
one leaves behind a bunch of people, some of which blame themselves and spend the rest of their lives wondering what they could have done.
wondering why  the other person didn't love them enough to stick around.
wondering why they deserve to live when it's their fault the other person is dead.
 there will always be someone who thinks that.
 is that one a misunderstanding?
or is it true?

take care
xoxo