I want to sleep forever, i never ever ever want to wake up. i burst into tears this morning simply because i did wake up.
why?
why do i deserve to sleep?
i don't deserve it.
i don't deserve any of the good i have, yet I'm so weak i cannot handle the bad.
i am seriously the biggest waste of space, and money, and time, and resource i have ever seen.
people don't even want to be around me anymore because I'm "never happy" so if people don't want to be around me what's really the point?
i just wish they would all leave me alone, so i can study at school.
its so cold my hands are shaking...
i just want to crawl back into bed in my heated room and cry myself back to sleep.
but i cant, i have freaking indo today...oh that's just an insult.
i hate Indonesian class, why is it so goddamn hard?
I've come to the conclusion I've deluded myself my entire life and I'm actually really, really stupid.
I'm seriously panicking at the moment because i know i have a double today.
see/?
i cant even handle a simple class.
take care
xoxo
i like you being around.
ReplyDeleteand you wouldnt have got this far if you were stupid. honestly teachers dont lie about things like that.
you'll never be a waste of space, time, effort, or anything else to me.
never in a million years.
i'll love you always. xxoo.
you're not stupid. you're very intelligent and you're worth a hell of a lot more than you seem to think.
ReplyDeleteevery time I read your blog, I hope a little harder that you'll be happier soon.
be safe, beautiful.
<3