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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Just Venting....Worthlessness

well this is crap. my parents hate me and this forced "recovery" does not seem to be working.
 i didn't think it was possible to hate myself more than i did before, but apparently it is.
 I'm constantly fighting the urge to throw up.
 this is something i haven't had to do for years.
eating hurts like hell and I'm miserable.
my parents are taking this as an excuse to control me.
 no one at the clinic ever asked me how I'm going so i can only assume that they, too, don't care.
 I'm honestly scared that i will resort to something stupid.
 I'm scared I'll hurt myself, because now every moment of every day I'm truly reminded of how much my parents hate me.
I'm scared the voice will come back....please leave me alone.

I'm exhausted all the time and struggle to complete my homework.
 this whole thing is ruining my life and i just want it to go away.

why does no one listen o me? am i really that worthless.
yes, yes i am.

take care
xoxo